You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
