Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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