i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
you win again, gameday.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
