hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
