Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Randomize
