We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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