Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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