It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
