My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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