Why does Corona taste like a burp?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
