I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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