I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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