she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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