You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
