Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
