Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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