I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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