yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
