at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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