wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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