After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
