I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
