Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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