I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
