I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
