I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
