He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Randomize
