The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
lets start a swedish sibling band together
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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