I'm drive I can fine osifer
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
