I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
