boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
