Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
