just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
