its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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