Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
you win again, gameday.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Congratulations! We have a period
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
