We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
