My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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