i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
