Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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