Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
