When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
