please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
