At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I would fuck him just for his dog
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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