Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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