Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
