smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
