all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
