dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
