his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
