I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
